I’m not pretty enough.
That’s what I though when I was a teen in high school. I always felt like I missed the benchmark of what the standard of beauty was. I felt as though I wasn’t enough. I would look at magazines, music videos etc and feel like I didn’t measure up ! Maybe if I had longer hair, a smaller nose and bluer eyes …maybe then I would be something . It seemed like my early high school years were for nothing more than to enhance my insecurities. My insecurities had become the main thing and I became the shadow straddling behind them. Hiding, holding back and making sure I never stood out lest someone pointed out my shortcomings.
It worked out for while, walking in the shadows until those very insecurities were flaunted in my face. A time when my insecurities were affirmed right in my face. This girl I went to school with was asked if she thought I was pretty? I wasn’t part of this conversation , they were walking behind me and I overheard the whole thing. I waited patiently for her answer wondering what she would say. I think I was about fifteen at the time, at the peak of adolescence.
She laughed.( yeah she seriously chuckled)
‘ If it weren’t for those big lips of hers she might be ‘.
I was crushed.
So is that what everyone saw the first time they would look at me… my lips?
Did everyone I encounter think I had abnormal lips?Did they think I had an almost pretty face?
It wouldn’t have hurt as much if I hadn’t noticed my lips, infact they were one of my MANY insecurities. I remember thinking well I guess lipstick and lipgloss is out of the question for my life,I can’t draw attention to that!
So there I was living my life through the lense of other people’s expectations and preferences that I could never measure up to.
The worlds expectations are hard enough to handle without fellow women aiding and abetting the cause. We are sometimes more hard on each other than the world is to us. I read somewhere that there is no bigger compliment than having a beautiful woman come up to you and tell you of how beautiful you are and I agree. It is a big feat when a woman acknowledges another woman’s beauty and actually means it . It’s a really beautiful thing to see .
So the fifteen year old girl who swore off lipstick now owns more than ten different shades of lipstick (and more including the ones I make myself). Now when people ask me why I wear lipstick a lot(lol) I laugh and think how far I’ve come.Little me would not have been able to rock that black cherry lipstick, she would have been too afraid to stick out ,she was afraid people would notice her . I think we all have those moments when we feel insecure( I’m not perfect I still do) but it is those imperfections that make you …YOU! God fashioned you , to be the way you are, to look the way you look ! It is something greater than our minds could possibly comprehend.
To think that sometimes we look in the mirror and all we see are the imperfections . We choose to see the stretch marks, the cellulite, the skinny legs,the pimples, the thin lips, big noses etc but your very being isn’t defined by all of that (despite what the media shoves down our throats).
Beautiful couldn’t even begin to describe you. Please believe it.
I think for the standard of beauty to have any hope of ever shifting it starts with us, the women. The more we choose to support each other the less room there is for negativity to seep in . We all probably have insecurities about something, enlarging the presence of another woman’s shortfalls will not diminish your own .
Having another beautiful woman walk into the room does not take away your beauty
I was looking at my garden the other day and I saw a patch of beautiful pink flowers 🌺 growing. I looked at them and thought how beautiful. Alone it’s just a pretty flower but together they make a beautiful garden. Imagine what would happen if we chose to stand together, if we as woman chose to walk in packs of slayage!!The support of women is stronger than what any man could ever speak into your life. I think once we start empowering each other there will be no force that can stand against a band of woman (like obviously).
Readjust the standard of beauty by walking confidently in who you are because when you do that , your beauty will speak louder and it will shine bright, too bright to be ignored.
I keep telling myself (even now) that I am beautiful everytime I look in the mirror just in case someone tries to tell me otherwise , I won’t forget, but don’t be the person who throws daggers at another’s confidence.Be beautiful, tell the next girl she’s beautiful and walk confidently knowing whose you are!
So Go out Beautiful , LIVE!