Thinking about moving to Australia from Africa/or any developing country ?: An informal guide

 

 

 

 

Melbourne is Beautiful. That is an undeniable fact and it’s evident in my previous posts . I have learnt a few things about this country and how things work in a 1st world country and I wrote this to guide anyone looking to move to Australia  from Africa .

A few things I’ve learnt in the few months of living in Australia :

1. It is hardly the most livable city in the world . To be honest I have no idea what terms they used to get Melbourne that title but this city is quite expensive place to live . Compared to life in Sydney,Melbourne life is much cheaper but it is exspensive especially for someone coming from Africa,Asia or the uk . Living costs are high, food costs are high . It will be hard work adjusting but it is possible to end up building a house and buying your own land .

 

2. ‘How are you going?’ Has absolutely nothing to do with your where about a or location . It’s just how Australians greet each other .

3. Health workers get paid more . There is shortage of nurses(critical skills list) And nurses get paid much more here than anywhere else I think  . Here is the thing , if you are coming with a business degree/IT/science etc (sans a job offer) there is a greater chance of you abandoning  that and taking up a career in health .

4. Public transport is readily available which makes it easier to move around but I strongly recommend coming with a drivers licence and getting a car . Australia is a large country and sometimes you have to pass masses of land to get to places . Having a car just makes travel more convenient and less time consuming. (But fuel is expensive so weight out your options)

5. lets talk about African makeup products. Australia is predominantly white nation and because of that most chain pharmacies/stores will not have African products. Forget walking into discount pharmacies to get you color foundation for an affordable price ,you are going to have to try the more expensive brands eg MAC, Nyx , Clarins etc . So if you are a student on a budget stock up before you come or buy online .

6. African hair . This has to be one of the downsides of moving to Australia. It costs a lot more to do hair here (I’d assume similar to American prices) but way above prices in Africa . There aren’t many hairdressers and so hairstyle/cut styles are limited .it’s easier to stick to braids or to invest in a good wig(just to be safe) . To find African hair products don’t bother looking in your nearest target /Kmart you won’t find anything there . You are going to have to find an African shop in designated suburbs . These are handy but they also mark up there prices accordingly so just be prepared.

7. If you have the option make sure you come on skills visa/work visa don’t come on a 6 month study visa just to gain entry because this will limit you on the jobs you can get . If you are doing well in Africa ,stay there. If this is your only chance then take it because you might find yourself doing grungy odd jobs to afford living in this country. Be prepared for anything!

I am still adjusting and learning as I go

updates to follow 🌸

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A poem : sent, delivered and ignored (This one goes out to all the blue ticked souls…you are not alone ❤️)

 

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I’m not a poem and I’m not going to pretend I am. I just have a whole lot of emotions and even more thoughts rampaging in my head .

I can’t help but write . Enjoy

 

 

The poem

 

Are you just going to sit there and watch me squirm ?
Does my pain amuse you?
Do my tears entice your fleeting heart
Like some kind of naked,twisted art
Is that it
Do my read messages paint some kind of a beautiful mosaic ?
A captivating image on the canvas of your screen.
Are you so bewildered that you can’t hit send,
That you can’t think of anything to say .
Are your  lips dry or  broken ,
detached  from my  bleeding soul.
Or maybe at some point in the conversation you just stopped caring ,
You lost all the butterflies , fireflies and all aspects of emotion.
You lost the fire that used to rage within you when my name popped up ,
Popping the very walls of your veins
Igniting a beautiful cascade of love that unapologetically Flowed from within  your heart .
A heart that seemed to listen to my cries for help,
A heart that pretended to know me completely ,
It feels like a memory now and I am taunted  by my brokenness .
Broken , maybe that’s what it is !
Maybe your heart is broken and the spot where it lay now echoes with emptiness,
Cold .
As cold as the crippling sensation that grips me as the clock ticks ,
It is as though you have chosen to intentionally pick at my heart strings,
Playing a melancholy song that breaks me.
I am broken now are you happy.
You have won ,
I am now only a reminants of the fire you caused with that blue tick.

The little chocolate shop on the corner..

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Chokolait is a chcolate/cafe in the heart of Melbourne . I am always on the look out for the next best thing and this is a great start. If you are a foodie and a chocolate lover this place is the one stop shop you need. The delectable menu to the on shelve boxes of chocolate there is something in here for everyone.

I ordered something fairly simple ,an elegant mud cake but what I received was more than I had anticipated.

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The warm fresh cake coupled by cool light creme with strawberry garnish was to die for. The cake was just sweet enough ,with the chocolate glazed cake which was moist and satisfying. Every bit was like taking a journey to my happy place with the burst of chocolate flavor cascading on my toungue . Paired with a delicious mochiatto( coffee+Belgian chocolate) what more could a girl want on a cool ,windy afternoon in Melbourne.

This is most definitely the best chocolate cake I have had in the city but as I continue on my search of good food in Melbourne, the title is open to change .

Do you know any good places to eat in the city?

 

If  You do ever find yourself find yourself in the beautiful city of Melbourne make sure  I visit Chokolait, level 3 emporium 287 Lonsdale street. You wont be disappointed.

This is why you need to date someone who loves you as much as you do….

 

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I looked out the window but I could barely see through the stream of tears rolling down my face. My stomach felt tighter than usual as the words my sister had just spoken to me sunk deeper into my subconscious.

Was she right?

I couldn’t help but think of all the relationships and ‘almost’ relationships I had gone through and the common denominator of all my past experiences was the heart wrenching pain. I always seemed to be the one trying harder. I was the one giving more and crying more because of it.

I love too much.

It is true but I can’t undo that kind of trait can I? I wish I didn’t give my whole heart in a relationship . I wish my optimism didn’t get in the way but it always does and I wish I could change the nature of my heart but it has always been this way. I am a lover. I love to love and to bring joy to others and hoping to receive the same level back but it never turns out that way. I always seem to find myself on the other side of the equation,heartbroken.

I was sitting on the evening bus after a long day and all the moments that had brought me to this place came flooding into my mind. I was the one who had gone out of my way to be the best that I could be for this guy but I hadn’t taken the time to check if he was pursuing me with the same level of passion. I was the one who wasn’t afraid to have my heart on my sleeve, not afraid to be vulnerable because I thought that open ring up would draw him closer but did he even care? I was the one giving, apologizing and trying to fix the seams just to make sure we were tight enough . I fell too quick . My overly loving heart can’t wait to lay trust on someone else. I trusted him and I believed all that was coming out of his mouth. His love for me seemed so genuine that I inadvertently loved him more.

I guess this is the curse that I must live with for the rest of my  life or maybe one day I will meet someone who loves more than I do. Someone who wears their heart on their sleeves without hesitation.

But if you aren’t that guy and you find yourself talking to a girl who loves to hard. Leave her before she gets to deep.

if you are that guy who likes to use girls for your own egotistical needs then don’t even think about it.

If you are that guy who isn’t ready for anything serious… don’t start talking to this very serious girl.

if you are a player please don’t use her as your experimental game.

she deserves better and her fragile heart can only take so much pain.

She deserves the very best so please don’t drain away all the love she has to give if you have no intention of giving her any in return.

‘Maybe next time you will learn not to love too much!’, my sister screamed over the phone.

maybe.

But maybe next time I will find myself sitting on a bus trying to nurse another broken heart.

 

To the broken hearted girl

 

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It’s not the end of the world but it certainly felt like it. My whole world had been ripped in two and people still had the odascity to tell me I was going to be just fine. How could they possibly know that ? How could they know what if be going through 6 months form now. The pain I was experiencing in that moment was a deep setting kind of pain; the kind of pain that penetrates through the bone. The kind of pain that you feel but you can’t hold nor can you put a bandaid over it to visually give you a sense of peace. I didn’t understand the encouraging words because in the moment it felt like I was a long away from ever getting through it. Though everyone told me otherwise it felt to me like my whole world had crumbled. My world had fallen apart and no one seemed to care. The world kept spinning and it felt like I was the broken girl running after it trying to keep up. I was the broken girl walking through crowds but I felt isolated and alone. It hurt even more to see people going about their lives like nothing had happened .

I secretly hoped the world would stop. That it would suddenly stop spinning and wait for me catch my breath. That I’d get some sort of special treatment not the ‘oh shame we feel sorry for you ‘type but the ‘she need some time give her a break ‘ type.This wasn’t supposed to be my story but I found myself immersed in my worst nightmare drowning in pain. This wasn’t supposed to be part of my story, I wasn’t supposed to be in that situation but the day my mom passed is the day I became a motherless daughter. I unwillingly took up my new title and I have carried that burden ever since. It is hard and it gets more difficult as time goes but it also get much easier . It’s been 3 years now and It breaks my heart to think that my mother has been gone for that long but at the same time I am grateful to think that o have come this far. I never would have imagined being in this space of peace but I am surrounded by it.

This is for all those who are right in the midst of grief. Those who feel like the tunnel they are in doesn’t have an end. This is for all those who fee like they world has come to an end I want you to know that there is hope. There is sunshine after the storm and light at the end of the tunnel.

I may still be a motherless daughter, I’m still a little broken but I am okay.

You will be okay!

 

Dealing with pain and loss : the art of Getting Over It!

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Get over it!

Its been months now why are you still crying?

You are still talking about this🙄!

 

I can’t begin to tell you how many times I’ve heard these very words uttered by the very people who are close to me. I lost my mom! I didn’t lose a an earring or get hurt by my high school crush…I lost something that I can never replace again. I lost a part of me and I’m sorry if it takes more than a few months or a few years for me to adjust to the deficit. I am not seeking attention I have just become numb . I still cry and I am constantly reminded that it isn’t normal ,maybe there is something wrong with me .I can’t help it when I’m reminded of all the goodness my mother used to bring. I can’t help when I see something that rips open the wound that had seemed to have healed. I can’t let go of memories and love and I hope that you don’t expect me to.

I have read countless grief books and the one thing that stands out ,a common thread in most of them,is the fact that many grieving have been told to get over it. It is like telling a depressed person to just be happy. It is complicated. The grieving process is not as black and white as the five stages suggest. In fact I personally don’t remember successfully completing any single one of those steps but I survived. Grieving is unique,it is tailored according to the extent of hurt and to the type of person who has been hurt. My sisters and I all went through the same thing but we have definitely processed everything in our own ways. People are different and as much as we may share similar stories our experiences,our emotions and our coping mechanisms will always be different.

I get it!

I know I’m not the first to lose a loved one and I’m sure not trying to act like I am. I know that this is a part of life,that everyone goes through pain and loss but should that very knowledge then discount what I am going through? I was hurt and I am still hurting.It is the sort of hurt that doesn’t truly go away . A hurt that you learn to live with. I never knew that I would come to a time where I would smile again. I didn’t think I would be able to laugh again but my days are filled with joy and wonder. I can never truly relate to you what it is like unless you have ever encountered a similar situation in your own life. I can’t make you understand my hurt and brokenness. I don’t need you to feel sorry for me. On most days I am doing just fine,some days I feel  the pain sweep over me like time hasn’t passed by. Sometimes I wake up and I cry. Sometimes I think of her and feel all my strength slip away. It is not easy and please don’t expect more than I can give. I am taking it day by day because that is the only way I know how to cope. The pain came all at once and I may need a little more time to pick up the pieces of my scattered heart. My brokenness is slowly fading but I will never be the same again;I am forever changed by this but I know in the end I will come out stronger than I was before. In the end I hope you will learn to accept my brokenness and help me to nurture it back into hope and love.

Adventures in the most livable city(part 2)-Melbourne

 

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Today it was a warm winters day and the city was filled with the sweet aroma of zeal as everyone was going about their business.The city is always vibrant,filled with lots of people who are determined to make it through the streets without wasting any time but there is a whole other side to this breathtaking city besides the hustle and bustle . Melbourne is a city filled with creative hearts longing to be seen and heard. There is Art everywhere from the teenage boy doing a marvelous magic trick to the lowly woman painting eye catching portraits on old vinyls. There is always a lot going on and I always make it a point to walk slowly when I make my way back to the train station after hours because I don’t want to miss a single thing. It’s no surprise that I took an unexpected detour today; I can’t help it when there are still so many lanes and crevices I’m yet to explore.Today I was hanging around Flinders street and Hosier Lane. I am always intrigued by magnificent architecture and so when I came across the St John’s Anglican Church along Flinders street I had to take a picture (many in fact). This building is one of the most beautiful churches I have ever seen. There is so much detail..I couldn’t even begin to describe so I’ll just show you.

 

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St John’s Anglican Church (this is just the side of the building because of where I was standing but it’s a beautiful picture nonetheless)

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The front view of the church

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Don’t know what this building is but I just loved the architectural details(anyone know what this is?)

 

And then there was Hosier Lane(street art). If you’ve heard about Melbourne you’ve probably heard about this graffiti filled lane. It is beautiful and even if you are not an art lover you will surely appreciate this!

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You can can follow me on my IG  account if you would like to see my adventures live. I post regular videos and updates.

Instagram: nolatee7 (Taffy Mutogo)

Until next time …